A 2010 Modest Proposal ~ In response to Transplants/Health Care

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The essence of democracy is its assurance that every human being should so respect himself and should be so respected in his own personality that he should have opportunity equal to that of every other human being to show what he was meant to become. – Anna Garlin Spencer

A 2010 Modest Proposal
In response to: Arizona Cuts Financing for Transplant Patients

by Nannette Rogers Kennedy

Thanks to Jonathan Swift, author of the original “A Modest Proposal” for the idea of writing a new modest proposal. The original was written in 1729. Mr. Swift (30 November 1667 – 19 October 1745) was an Irish satirist, essayist, political pamphleteer.

For Preventing the Poor and Middle Class People of the United States From Being A Burden on this Great Nation, and For Making Them Beneficial to the Wealthy

It is a melancholy object to those who attempt to fill our doctor’s offices and hospitals of this great country, especially when they are heard to whine and complain: “I do not have health insurance” or “We cannot afford adequate health insurance.” And to see these mothers and fathers with two and three children in tow, or these single people who could afford more adequate health plans if they would just go out and get a job, or a second job, or a third job. It is a pitiable situation to hear these people say “I need help and I have hope that my greater human family will open their hearts, that the insurance industries should be regulated, that doctors will offer some way for me to live to see my children grow up.” It truly is their ignorant drama that depletes the good cheer of this great nation of ours.

I think it is agreed by all parties that the astronomical number of uninsured or underinsured human beings drag down the overall good cheer of the rest of us; we can all agree that this weight placed upon those of us who save our money, spend wisely, acquire high paying jobs with excellent benefits and insurance plans has gotten out of hand. And then to further suggest that we assist in aiding those who need transplants, medications, and procedures is just ridiculous. Whoever could find a fair, cheap and easy method of making these poor and middle class people, useful members of our society, would deserve to have statues set up as preservers of this great nation.

But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the parents and single adults whose health is ill; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of ill children who are born of parents in effect as little able to insure their offspring, as those who demand our charity in doctor’s offices, pharmacies and hospitals.

I have been assured by some very knowing conservatives, that a poor or middle class family having two young healthy children (by the luck of the draw), that one child upon reaching the age of 12 could be harvested for his perfect organs to go to the wealthy on waiting lists, and the remaining child upon reaching the age of 12 could be maintained for breeding purposes. The family could receive a small stipend as an incentive to continue helping the wealthy remain healthy. The poor and middle class will eventually come to realize and understand that to receive money is far more important than saving a life of a member of the poor and middle class, and the breeders too, will have the opportunity to rise and join the ranks of the wealthy by aiding the wealthy. And as the ill members of the poor and middle class die from failure of hearts, livers, lungs and the like, it would be required that the remaining healthy organs be donated to those who can afford the procedures.

There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme: it will prevent those poor and middle class citizens who are ill to bother with the health care system at all. The ill poor and middle class parents will avoid any welfare program believing they are keeping their children out of the system, believing they are protecting their healthy children from the donor/breeding plan. Further, the very length of the forms needed to be filled out by the poor and middle class, will deter the sick from accessing the system. As a result these healthy children will not receive federal assistance of any kind–no food stamps, housing, minimal health care and the like, and they too, shall eventually perish and not burden the doctors, the pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, the health insurance companies (and those of us unfairly taxed) with time taken to treat people who will not amount to anything anyway.

And one of the critical benefits of this modest proposal is that billions of dollars paid by real tax payers every year, will not be necessary, and our good money can be spent on opulence, grandeur and splendor without having to feel guilty for being the fittest of society. This plan also will prevent further overtaxing and will allow health care for those who can afford to support the insurance industry. The health insurance industry, too, shall benefit, as the poor and middle class will dwindle and no longer drain the system.

Not only does this proposal (over time) dispose of the financial burden for caring for the poor and middle class sick, it also will reduce the amount of welfare expended overall. In time, the economy will recover, and the wealthy will outnumber the poor and middle classes. And we finally, it can be agreed, get back to living in good cheer.

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